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Indulging Your Fetish

Miss Violet 800-601-6975

Will Not Be Denied

After more than 16 years in the world of fetish and BDSM, there is one thing I am sure of: a fetish will not be denied.  Oh…you can try to put it out of your mind, lock the accoutrements of your desires in a box, or simply deny it.  I assure you that your fetish will rear it’s head again.  But the next time, it will be even stronger.

Dangers of Denial

Not only is it pointless to ignore your sexual needs, it can be dangerous.  Let me give you some examples of what can happen if you do try to ignore it:

1.  Damage to, or loss of, primary relationship

2.  Financial distress

3.  Loss of career

4.  Loss of respect

How Deep is Your Need

Understand that your fetish is as much a part of who you are as a person as your personality or sexual persuasion.  Imagine trying to change your sexual persuasion by force of will.  I know people who have tried and it does not work.  This is why you must find a safe outlet for your fetish.  Because it is part of you, and every part of you deserves some attention.

How to Indulge Safely

This really depends on two things:  your personal situation, and the depth of your desire.  If you are single, your options are wide open.  You are free to seek a lifestyle Mistress, visit a Pro Domme, or call phone Mistresses to your heart’s content.

But if you live with a partner, or are married, you have more to lose.  This requires being careful and diligent.  My main goal is to help you indulge your fetish while maintaining your primary relationship.  Your fetish does not have to change other aspects of your life.  Done properly, it can enhance every part of your life.

Options to Consider

The safest way to take care of your fetish is to do so in the least life-invasive manner.  What I mean by that is that it is best to find an option that does not take too much time, money, and puts you at minimal risk.

Perhaps it is enough for you to read online stories on the topic of your fetish, or to watch videos on the topic while you enjoy some masturbation.  If your desires have been stronger, you may require bumping things up to the level of calling a knowledgeable FemDom to role-play your specific fantasies.  This is an option that is quite safe, since you do not meet in person, and a reputable service, such as LDW, will protect your identification.  Just make sure you use a separate credit card, if not a disposable one to cover your tracks

Going Further

At some point you may discover that you need to be touched while fulfilling your fetish needs.  This can be done by visiting a professional Domme for an appointment.  You can do this as needed, or regularly if you find that your fetish requires that in person touch.  I am thinking of fetishes such as bondage, CBT, and situational humiliation.  A better option would be seeking a lifestyle Mistress if you are single.

Be aware though:  when you meet in person, the stakes go way up.  There is the danger of being discovered both in person, and otherwise.  If found out, women generally have a much more difficult time accepting in-person dallying of any kind.

Know Yourself

Only you know what your personal needs are.  I suggest you meet them safely and regularly.  Avoid letting your desires build until the dam bursts and you do things that put you at risk.

If you have questions about the kinds of fetishes that can be enjoyed in a fetish phonesex session, feel free to leave a comment here or email me.  I can attest to the absolute pleasure of phone sessions that may surprise you.  Such as spanking, flogging, slave/submissive training, chastity, milking, situational humiliation, and plenty of others.  Ask me anything.

Miss Violet 800-601-6975

Miss Violet 800-601-6975


22 comments to Indulging Your Fetish

  • Galaxy

    Hello there Violet.

    Let me be the first to say I love that sexy pic and wonderful smile!

    As usual, you are spot on with your advice. I can say for me that there is no one as spectacular as you at providing this outlet!!

    I agree that there must be an outlet for a fetish or it can explode into poor choices. You are so attune to my needs and desires and make it so much fun! (big smile)

    I can’t think of a safer better way than to have phone fun release with you. Your amazing ability to enjoy our time and give me exactly what I need is superb!

    I know I will continue to enjoy our fun and in a perfectly safe way for all!

    • Hey there Galaxy. Trust you to be the first to comment on my newest posting. *smile* I knew this one would resonate with you. Having a safe way to enjoy your fetish without upsetting the apple cart of your life is massively important. I adore being that safe outlet for you. Can’t wait till our next hot mutual adventure.

  • Peter

    I totally agree! It’s not worth risking job, career, marriage for. But I’m not married nor do I have a girlfriend. Your right in not going broke calling or getting real life mistress. For me calling you and other mistresses work perfect for me and I don’t want it any other way. I’m too into dressing to quit now it’s pointless to have girlfriend or toget married. After our last call no way. Ms Violet is awesome. I’m looking forward to calling her again. I’m mistresses property with them making / dressing me as a girl.

    • I am so glad you read this posting and commented here Peter. Knowing you well, as I do, you have a lot of experience in the fetish world, and I am sure you could give some great advice to others. I hope you come back and respond to other guy’s postings as well. You are a FABULOUS example of someone who has found a reasonable way to enjoy your fetish, and avoid some pitfalls. Yes Peter…we own you. *wink*

  • PB

    Ms Violet..I love the post and I thought your advice was spot on. Indulging in one’s fetishes for many is like the air we breathe…we can’t live with out it. So why deny it….embrace it or there can be negative consequences. As you also point out, I find I need to escalate things on occassion. I truely enjoy my sessions with the mistresses of LWD…but every once in awhile I find I want (or maybe need) to escalate things and experience the touch, feel, breathe, and body of a real person as I live out my sensual domination fantasies. I have often thought that the high / excitement we feel during our fetish calls/sessions has similarities to someone that gets high using drugs…over time we need to take it to the next level in order to achieve and/or increase the level of “high” or “excitement”. As you point out above, I try to meet my needs via safe (low risk) approaches. Of course having an SO in my life…all of these come with some risk….but I try to be as safe and discrete as possible and leave no signs of my alter ego. Thanks again for another great post.

    • You are a wise, kinky man PB. Thank you for your comment. I love hearing from a man who is meeting his needs, and doing so if the safest manner possible. You are a great guy and I know you value all facets of your life. Your fetishes are simple one part of the whole. And PB…I enjoy exploring your fetishes with you immensely! *grin*

      • PB

        Ms Violet…thank you for the kind comment. As you probably already guessed…I always enjoy our sessions together and I love the fact that you have enabled me to find new (and more exciting)ways to satisfy my kink. Thank you for always giving me a great time!!!!!!

  • little luke

    Indulging in and exploring my fetishes is some of the best advice You’ve given Miss Violet.

    • It took well over a year for me to get that message through to you little luke. Remember? But you finally did understand how important it is to keep the fetish side of yourself happy. And since then, I believe we have kept yours ecstatic. *grin*

      • little luke

        i do remember. 🙂 Thank You! What an amazing guide You’ve been on my journey. Your dominance and understanding of my fetishes has been incredible.

        • Glad to hear your memory is so fresh about those early days between us little luke. I remember how shy you were. *smile* One great thing about part of your fetish is that hamperskunking can be done around just about any schedule!

  • Ms Violet, this is an exceptional post and a great read for all of our subbies. I would love to link back to it as I think more readers can only benefit from your advice. One of the things that is so great about the work we do here, is that the Mistresses genuinely care about their subbies and the varied lifestyles that come with them. It also pleases me that so many agree!

    • Hello Ms Alexis. Certainly, you may link back. I would be delighted. You are correct about the LDW Mistresses genuinely caring about our subbies. It is no fun to max out a credit card and be unable to call for months, or to get caught by a significant other and have to deal with the fall-out. It is important to have a plan for indulging in your fetish and be careful. So thank you for stopping by and seconding my thoughts on this topic Ms Alexis.

  • slave rob

    Mistress Violet

    You have done an amazing job of leading me to find my fetish self. The places we’ve explored are wonderful, and you are an awesome guide. And I can attest that in session, or in between, you are awesome at finding and pushing boundaries…whether with spanking, lingerie, CBT, or cum eating. Things that once i only thought of doing, now I wish to do…to please you. And, as always, your advice and guidance is spot on.

  • susan9316

    Dear Mistress

    i know that my fetishes and desires are a truly a part of who i am – and in fact with your help i have come to more fully embrace parts of myself that are genuine and need to find expression. You have guided me in my feminization and i truly love the growth of my feminine self – both for its erotic pleasures and its spiritual beauty. Learning and loving my femininity is a fabulous journey that i am able to share with you.

    Also, i seek and experience the joy of submission to a caring and wise Mistress. i do believe that to be my path of true fulfillment – to be the best submissive sissy girl that i can be in service to you. i feel sheltered and nourished by you and i offer the energies and intentions of my active submission to you as partial fulfillment of my desire to please you as best i can.

    i don’t imagine those feelings will go away. i view my feminization and my submission as paths of self improvement and self acknowledgement. And so i wear my pretty panties every day thinking of you;, i endeavor to nurture my inner girl in every way i can; i long for you to assert your rights over me through the sting of a thorough spanking and cbt; i hold myself in chastity for you; i long for your guidance and permission for release so that i might have the privilege of eating my cum for you. All of this true and i only want to go deeper. So my fetishes will not go away – and i do not want them to – i embrace them and i am grateful for your guidance and to be able to think of myself as your submissive.

    • We did go deeper last night susan. More intense and lengthy CBT. I watched you go into the Violet Zone (sub-space) quickly and go ever deeper into it as the session went on. You do need to have your boundaries pushed a bit now and then susan. Both as a sissy and as my submissive. There is not a task I have assigned to you that you have failed to complete. Often you take things up a notch and surprise me by surpassing my expectations. What more can a Mistress ask? You are a delightful person and such a wonderful sissy submissive. xox

  • Davina

    What a great topic 😉

    I like to think that our fetishes our just another facet of who we are and deserve as much attention as any other aspect of our lives as long as they are dealt with in a safe, sane, and consensual way.

    I think there are so many variations to everyone’s ideas that it is impossible to categorize or neatly label individuals and so it is places like this and people like you that provide us with the ability to share our experiences and make it so much more fun and exciting. I just love to imagine all kinds of kinky scenarios where I get caught up in that grey area that lingers between real life and fantasy. I believe that allowing those fantasies to have a safe outlet helps keep a lot of us sane and you have always been amazing in your ability to inspire us. It is so incredibly arousing to try to imagine just how far one might let a very sweet and seductive Mistress, such as yourself, push us to prove our commitment and willingness to do anything to demonstrate our desire to worship a Lady who truly understands and deserves such praise.

    Thank you for all the awesome posts and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season.

    • Davina, you have a beautiful way with words. We are of one mind on this topic. People are complex and the variations of fetishes are many, but it is indeed a part of who we are. I feel so privileged to be able to provide an outlet for the myriad of interesting, complex fetishes people have. Thank you for reading my blog so faithfully and leaving such wonderful comments.

      Happy holiday season to you as well Davina! xox

  • bambi

    Dear Empress Violet,

    Your words are so very true. I have kept my needs and who I really am suppressed for a very long time. I am now coming out, so to speak, and I feel so wonderfully whole and complete. My biggest regret was not realizing this sooner….but then again, I may not have been ready.

    I just want you to know how much I appreciate your post on this subject and that it really touched me.

    Thank you,


    • Welcome back bambi. *smile* So happy to hear that this posting was helpful to you and touched you so deeply. I appreciate you sharing that with me. I truly do. Please try not to waste any time on regrets. Everything happens for a reason. And it happens when it happens for a reason. You are meant to be exploring these needs now. You have found a safe, caring place to do so. Life is good.

  • bambi

    Empress Violet,

    Thank you so much for your words on this., and I know you are right. I’ve started on a wonderful journey of self discovery and Mistress Iris has been such a wonderful guide….and I appreciate your guidance as well.

    Thank you,


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